Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
