I want to make a zoo with you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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