U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
