I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
