the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
