The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
