I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
