if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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