You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
