The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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