The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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