AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
ugly people sure do ruin things
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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