all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
