Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
