If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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