True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
