sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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