is your mom at the bar?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
