You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
