he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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