I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
only you would photoshop your dick
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
