Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
