I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
