You can't special order awesome
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
