either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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