it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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