I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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