why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
