I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When are your genitals available?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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