I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
