Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
