Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you never un-have a 4some
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
