Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
