Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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