Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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