help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
