Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
