You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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