do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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