She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
