I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he shaved USA in his pubs
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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