the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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