The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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