I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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