dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
did i just pee glitter
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
FUCK WHALES
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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