No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
