Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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