the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
