i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
