I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
