That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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