I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
