i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
