Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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