If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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