you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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