Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
