i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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